Are you busy and tired mom?
I consider myself a busy and tired mom. I’m sure most of you would agree that having three kids, running a household and a day job is quite a lot. Although to be completely honest – two of my kiddos are out of the house until 3 pm and my job is part-time, so basically I can sit my lazy ass on a sofa and drink wine half of the day.
A girl can dream, right?
The truth is that no matter what you are doing or how many kids you have around you, if you are running a house – you are busy, because there is always something to do. Always. And because your day is only about 17 hours you either do that stuff or ignore it. Management is a key.
Related post: Time management – Mommy Style
But let’s get back to my original thought – we are all busy and have plenty to do. And it’s fine. It’s life. But what to do when you wake up (already tired) to the endless to-do list and your attitude can be best described as blaaaah. We all have these days when we just don’t care about anything and there is not enough chocolate in the world to convince us to get out of the bed. Breathing is tiring and you are not only not in the mood for facing the day, you are truly unable to do so.
I believe you have two options. You can either 1. take a day almost off or you can 2. suck it up, take a kick in a butt and move on. Now, a word of explanation. This is not a choices are either easy or right situation. This is a matter of what you are looking for, what do you need at this particular moment choice. If you are seeking motivation, because deep down you know you can drink a bucket of coffee and get your sh*t together then head here because the text below won’t do any good for you. However, if you are on the edge of crying because you really can’t do the whole mother and wife thing today, keep on reading.
Let’s make it clear
And one more thing. This post is in no way an excuse. It’s not a way to tell you “you are a tired mom, so hire some help and everything will be rainbows and hearts again”. Here I am quite serious. I’m writing for this really awful moments when you feel like throwing a towel. I might not be an expert, but since I’m a mom so since 2009, three times I sincerely wondered if I am depressed. I don’t think I was, it passed with time and my husband’s support but what I want to emphasize: you need to take care of yourself and you need to fight for your sanity.
Related post: To every Mama that stays at home…
You are a mom and only by that you are a superhero already, so don’t give up. If once in a while you feel some kryptonite is working on you and it’s a kill me now kind of day, then you need a day almost off routine. (By the way – can you tell I have sons?! I’m very proud to know how to spell kryptonite 😉 )
How to survive?
Let’s get back on track – you wake up in the morning and you already know that today is not going to be your day and adulting is just too much to handle. Some time ago you would just ditch school, call in the sick day at work etc. You would probably sleep in a bit, eat some junk food, watch TV, maybe hang out with your friends. But now, in the real world where you are responsible for other beings, it’s not so easy. Do you laugh in your head when you hear “a day off”? It always reminds me “moms/dads don’t take sick days” commercial. What you actually need to do is redefine what it means “a day off”.
Redefining at its finest
Just imagine the perfect free day.
That was just your enjoyment.
Are you back from dreamland? Now imagine a free day that you could actually pull off. You don’t have to give up everything from your vision. You probably can’t spend a day in a spa resort. But an hour or two in a day spa is probably doable. Just a manicure then? The sad part is that you can’t just stay in bed in the morning (unless your husband is a superhero and he can take a day off of work and take care of the kids). You have to do what I call damage control.
Save the day
As a mommy, you know that one day of doing nothing at home sets you back indescribably. But you should also know that once in a while you have the right to have a meltdown or just a bad day. It’s not the end of the world, everybody will survive, you may shock somebody along the way but it’s worth it.
Related post: Balance in Mom’s World – is that a joke?
Start with yourself
You must understand it – you deserve a day to restore all your resources. Everything has its limits, even you – a supermom and your strength. What will happen if you feel unwell, ok, you feel like crap, and you push yourself? Because that’s what mommas do, right? Well, I’ll tell you what would happen – nothing will go according to your plan, you will get more and more frustrated, your headache will only get bigger and bigger, everything your child does will be irritating, you will probably snap at your husband for something you would normally just ignore. Your day will be unproductive anyway, so simply use it to restore your energy. Redefine the day that would suck!
Frustration is the biggest enemy of motivation
If you don’t care about yourself, you would not be able to care for your family. It’s like those rules of survival in the planes, you take an oxygen mask first, then put one on your dependents. Do you need more encouragement? Do you know the saying happy wife, happy life? I sure hope so, because it’s very true. And it’s true not only for your husband, it’s true for the whole family. Only a happy, calm mother is able to keep her happy, careless children safe. Frustrated and tired mothers often raise nervous kids and that’s what we want to avoid. Life is stressful enough, we want our houses to be an oasis of serenity. Get it now?
Find a way
Ok. So now it’s the time for the almost part of our day off. Damage control. Your kids are the most important. Hubby is a grown-up man, he can take care of himself. What you need to take care of depends on the age of your kids.
If you have a baby – great! That means naps and you probably can kind of stay in bed (or organize something bed-like on the floor?). If you have school-age kids just make sure they get to school on time. Do you have to drive them? Maybe your husband can do it? And really – if once they eat just yogurt for breakfast no unicorn will die, take it as easy for YOU as possible.
The hardest it may be with toddlers. They are energy bombs and somehow in their minds, you are just as jumpy as they are. But there are ways. I don’t want to start a rebellion against myself but I really don’t see a problem in giving your little one an hour of TV or YouTube to keep them busy and happy. Just choose wisely. Bubble Guppies, some songs, dancing with the Wiggles and your little angels will be ready for a nap.
Working hard or hardly working?
If you are working at home – set the automatic reply in your email that you will answer tomorrow, turn off the phone. Trust me, it will all be there tomorrow. Of course, if that specific day is your deadline for something, do that, damage control applies here too, but checking your data from last month so that you can prepare for the next one is not essential at this particular moment.
If you work outside of home, you can take it easy there too, depending on the field of course. Just don’t force yourself, you don’t have to talk to anybody that you don’t want to, you don’t have to smile all the time. Stick to being polite and do only minimum of what you have to. Propriety and etiquette are so wearing. You probably don’t notice it every day but it’s true. It’s only for one day. You’ll be perfect tomorrow.
I prepared for you a list of some helpful resources that can help you deal with this tough day. You can grab it below the post!
The general rule of a day like that is whatever makes you happy. Personally, I would stay at home in my pajama whole day, binge some guilty pleasure shows, order a pizza for dinner and hopefully stay in one room so that I wouldn’t do what I need to do/fix/clean lists in my head. During the regular day, for the bigger part of the day, I’m at home with a baby only. We would play in bed or on the floor, trying to make her tired so that the nap be longer. I’d probably also call my husband so that maybe he’d be able to pick up our toddler from preschool and bring him home. He is very supportive because he already knows being a stay at home mom is not a vacation.
What do YOU need?
If all you need and want is a day of shopping or going to the movies – do that! I just really want you to use this day right. Treat it as once in a lifetime opportunity and charge your batteries. You know as well as I do that you cannot do that often. And even though I strongly encourage you to take care of yourself regularly, we know it’s not like you have some me time very often. So when your body tells you, you need to rest (and that’s exactly what your body tells you when you are unable to get up in the morning) then simply listen!
Truth is most of the times you need to deal with everything around you no matter what’s going on with you. You can’t just roll to the other side of the bed and go back to sleep, but you should be able to take a minimalistic approach to mom’s responsibilities (no laundry/dishes/cooking allowed!!). Use all the kisses and hugs you can get to gain your strength back. I’m sure your kids will be happy with laying on the floor and not rushing anywhere mommy.
What is your idea of a day “almost” off for tired mom? Let me know in the comments!