To every mama, who stays at home – have you ever..?

 

Fair warning: If you are not a stay at home mom, you will probably not be able to relate to this post. Please check out other posts. Maybe about setting goals?

Mom, who stays at home, have you ever...? - justredefine.com

Have you ever woken up around 7 am, tired as hell with a back pain but it was noon before you had a coffee and/or breakfast?

Have you ever planned to prepare dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, take a shower and drink that damn coffee during the nap and when that miracle time came it only lasted 15 minutes so what you managed to make is a mess in the kitchen and nothing else?

Have you ever had a talk, when you shared that you just wished to have some me time and the other person asked what are you talking about, you have whole days for yourself?

Have you ever hidden in the bathroom while playing hide and seek and really hoped they won’t find you for a half an hour?

Have you ever spent your day thinking about your exciting plans for the evening when kids would be sleeping? The excitement just grew when you noticed that you actually had a chance because it’s 9 pm and they were all in beds! And then you sat on a couch and that was it – you were not able to move any muscle nor your brain? Ten years ago, 9 pm meant party, that day 9 pm meant I’m dead tired. And the exciting plans were dead too.

Have you ever wished you were the one leaving in the morning and coming back in the evening, being welcomed by kids who actually missed you and wants to spend time with you?

Have you ever looked around your house and just for a millisecond had the idea to set up a fire and take kids for a walk?

Have you ever thought that it would be nice to hear thank you instead of is it chicken again?

Have you ever wished you could spend a day alone, doing whatever you want and then quickly decided it’s what a bad mom would do, so you can’t?

Have you ever had that feeling of terror when you realized that when you went shopping for yourself you bought a new pan, not new pants?

Have you ever wondered why people are no longer asking how you’ve been but how are kids?

Mama, if you answered yes to any of those questions, I want you to know you are not alone. You are amazing. Your kids love you just the way you are, you are your family’s hero for doing the best you can. They don’t need more. You are enough!

God gave you a very hard role of being a mother, of being the center of your family. It’s not easy like most of the meaningful tasks but it is so worth it. You will never be paid, because it’s not a job, it’s a mission. What you get instead are love, kisses and hugs.

Even if you’re not exactly feeling this now, even if you do not hear it, your family is grateful for you. It is thanks to you that your husband can work long hours to provide for you all. Thanks to you your kids have a great childhood, full of love and laughter. It’s all thanks to you, Lady!

You are your most demanding judge, Sweetheart. You are a mother, you want to make everything perfect for everybody, but for a freaking moment make it only about you. Give yourself a break.

It’s all overwhelming. It’s ok to be tired. It’s ok to cry a little. But it’s also more than ok to lower your standards for a bit, just till you feel stronger, more confident. You don’t have to be at your finest all the time. But listen when I tell you: You are strong, Mama. You can do it.

 

Mom, who stays at home, have you ever...? - justredefine.com
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14 comments

  1. beehappy says:

    Aaaaw this post is so true. I think that’s the hardest part for me, how much I have to constantly think about someone else and I get emotionally exhausted even if I didn’t “do” much that day.

  2. Kerry Smith says:

    Staying home is tough. I’ve done it now for 15 years, ending a successful career as an editor. I love my sons. I want to be here for them. But staying home has been an intense struggle. Looking back, with my personality, I should have worked part time outside the home. But I have a child with special needs and no family close by to help. So it wasn’t possible. Years ago, as a result of the strain and isolation, I experienced clinical depression that lasted more than a year before medication and therapy helped. Now I am depression free but struggle with fatigue and motivation to get things done. Ladies, make sure you take care of yourselves! Get help if needed. Staying home with children can be wonderful, but for some of us it has been a huge challenge.

  3. Lauren says:

    Great post–staying at home is a tough gig. I know I feel this way all the time! I think the key is to try and carve out moments for yourself by staying involved in hobbies, prioritizing date nights, using a parents day out program or a babysitting swap with friends, etc.

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